I took it down to the Apple store and they were less haleful than the internet. All they could do for me was replace the board and that cost about as much as a new phone. So I got the new phone. I was due for an upgrade anyway.
Problem solved. Peasants rejoice. Curtain. Lights. Happy ending, right?
Now I have this very expensive old paperweight and I feel like I should do something with it. Pretty much anywhere is going to charge me quite a bit just for a bench fee and I'd hate to pay more (OMG do you know what iPhone cost these days!) just for a backup iTouch.
Do you have any ideas on what to do with this damn ting that does not involve throwing it away?